I was in a meeting with my boss and my then 5-6-year-old had called to complain how his older brother did not stand-by him when he wanted a window seat in the meeting. I felt very apologetic and expressed it to my boss, that I had to handle this in the middle of an important discussion. And he said: Enjoy as it lasts, once you are an empty nester, you will miss this.
That was the first time I heard this ‘Empty Nester’. Back then it meant a quiet house, a clean cupboard, and your mother dramatically telling every relative: “Bas, bacche bade ho gaye.” Probably because the child had left to pursue further education or the ‘American Dream’.
Fast-forward to today…You don’t need your child to go to college to feel like an empty nester. All you need is a teenager. That’s it. The nest empties not when they leave the house, but when they leave the living room.
Two decades ago, kids were literally stuck to their parents. If you were watching TV, they were there. If you were going to the market, they were there. If you were breathing, they were there.
Today? Your teenager lives inside a single bedroom. The door shut, WiFi flowing, LED lights on “cosmic galaxy” mode. You knock, and they look at you like you’ve broken international border security.
And the best part? They don’t need you anymore. They have Google for homework, Swiggy for cravings, group chats for emotional meltdowns, AI for answers, and a social life that looks like a Netflix original.
Because yes, today’s kids have a social life beyond their parents. Birthdays, brunches, night-outs, sleepovers, Snaps, Instagram…they’re booked. Fully booked.
Parents get a 2-minute slot only when they need a ride or money. Meanwhile, you’re still adjusting to the fact that the child who once followed like the Vodafone puppy to the bathroom now barely acknowledges your existence unless there’s pizza involved.
So, the new empty nest syndrome? It doesn’t wait for a hostel or a college admission letter. It begins the day your child stops asking, “Mummy, can I come with you?” and starts saying, “I’ll go with my friends.”
It begins the day they start living in headphones. It begins the day family dinner is replaced by “I’ll eat in my room.” It begins the day you realise they have opinions… and most of them are about why you’re wrong.
Earlier, parents got a slow, emotional runway. Kids left home at 21. There was time to prepare, to dread the goodbye.
Today? The emotional goodbye happens at 15 and the physical goodbye happens at 17-18. So basically, parents spend five years confused, hurt, nostalgic, hopeful, and slightly unemployed from their primary job title.
But here’s something no one talks about: Today’s parents also have the best shot at reinventing themselves. Your kids may be busy building their social life, but so can you.
Travel, hobbies, work, friends, fitness, Netflix, peace, silence, and uninterrupted chai…the perks aren’t bad. Maybe the nest empties earlier now, but it also refills with something we’ve forgotten for years: our own life.
And maybe that’s the real beauty of modern parenting: Learning to let the little birds fly (even when they’re still inside your house) while remembering that you still have wings too.